Time of Consecration

"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, 'Fear not, I am the One who helps you.'"
Isaiah 41:13 ESV

    I should've done this earlier but I guess God really had to take me to a deep and dark place for me to realize I need to consecrate and be sanctified through fasting. I know many others will have different opinions on this but for me personally, I have to do this. I'm tired of letting my emotions lead. I'm tired of being inconsistent in my faith. I'm hungry of change in my life. I'm hungry for God. I've fasted before but it wasn't with the right purpose and I often broke my fast. I'll be honest, when I fasted, I wasn't praying much. I was like a Pharisee I suppose, just fasting to feel holy. I was still relying on myself. Before going to Taiwan in June, I felt that God was saying to fast for 40 days. Originally, it was to repent for the land of Cariacica Sede, which is where I live. The verse that I received was Zephaniah 1:7, "Be SILENT before the LORD! For the day of the LORD is near." So I was going to ask my Christian friends to fast with me for the land. To fast music, tv and all. 

    However, as I was reading God's word, praying, reading other spiritual books, and experiencing the ups and downs of life, I've realized I have not been living by the Spirit. My prayers have not been with authority. The power of God isn't as evident as it could be. I know people have opinions about this but the spiritual realm affects the physical realm and vise versa. And if you were living with me and seeing things around me, you would understand. Maybe because I've only posted the highlights and not the 'low'lights, so many of you don't know what I'm going through. But in total honesty, I'm not sure my day to day life has been bearing the fruit of the Spirit. Many things don't go as expected and it's very discouraging. I feel like I've tried my best and things only seem to be getting worse. The Lord continues to encourage me though. I can paint a picture of my situation like this. I've gotten myself in a large pit of mud and it's above my waist. I'm trying to move forward but can hardly do so. I feel like I'm holding God's hand at times and other times I give up moving forward. Every time God speaks to me through a Bible verse, a sentence in a book, a song, or through people, I feel like He is still watching over me and have not given up on me. 

    Today would mark the 7th day of my fast. Have I fully followed through? Not quite. But I've decided to give myself a little grace. I praise God that His grace never ceases because without it I would be dead and worse, be burning in eternal fire. My dad has encouraged me that God sometimes puts us into trials not for us to pray how to get out of them, but how to grow and trust Him more. We tend to look for a way out of the situation. God sometimes is wanting to build our character and trust during these trials. If we grab onto God's hope, this will encourage us to depend on Him more. My mom also reminded me that Moses was in the wilderness for 40 years before meeting God with the burning bush. And Joseph had to go through his trials before becoming the 2nd in command of one of the largest nations of his time. Not to mention Jesus, being led by the Spirit to fast with no food and water for 40 days, before starting His ministry. It's evident that whatever I'm experiencing right now is intended for me to grow into a woman of God. It's for me to be nourished by Jesus, which is the Word. If I don't allow God to do that, I'm choosing destruction. There's no middle ground. By weakening my fleshly desires, I'm allowing my spirit to be filled with God's Spirit. Every time I'm hungry, it reminds me how hungry I am for Jesus. In the Lord's prayer, it mentions "Give us this day our daily bread." I often thought of it as the physical bread when we say grace before eating, but it's not just that, it's about our spiritual needs as well. Our Heavenly Father will provide and satisfy my spiritual needs.

    To conclude, this is a process I'm currently in. 

    Here are some updates and prayer requests:

    1. Bella has been catching up a lot in her schoolwork with the assistance of her mom, Corenne. Continue to pray for good time management and wisdom for Bella's learning to be consistent, efficient, and proficient. 

    2. Our weekly Sunday morning church has been doing well. Our worship team is getting better and better. Continue to pray for more people who are willing to serve in the worship team as we sometimes struggle with last minute cancellations and not enough people to sing or play a certain instrument.

    3. The 15 year old girl who was in the psychiatric ward came out last Wednesday. I was super surprised to see her. That was the first day I started fasting. Interesting to think about the timing of it all now. She is doing fine so far with her mom paying more attention to her. They even came to our cell group last Friday. Praise the Lord! Continue to pray for consistency as the mom is quite exhausted from her work, and for the 15 year old girl to come to cell group and church more consistently. 

    4. For my 40 day fasting journey. I know it's going to be super special. I cannot see the future but I know that God's promises never fail. Continue to pray that I can consistently renew myself every day with His word and prayers. I've been having bad dreams almost every day. Some could be a reflection of my anxiety but some can also be from the devil. So please pray that I can have good sleep. Thank you!

    5. Our adults cell group and girls cell group of Hope Mountain has been going well. But please pray for the consistency of the girls that they can continue to experience God in our cell group. Our adults cell group is going great, it's like a family. Pray that this cell group can be a blessing to more people.

    6. A quick update on the boys at Hope Mountain. 

a. One boy, who was in love with the 15 year old girl that I mentioned in the 3rd point, he is in the psychiatric ward. The night before the girl got out, he cut himself severely and had to be taken to the hospital. Please pray for his mental health. We believe he has severe depression. He is heavily drugged in the hospital. He threw up a few times. He sometimes just stares off into space. My heart breaks for him...  

b. One boy might be able to be reintegrated with his uncle's family soon. Please pray for a smooth transition and that he can continue to grow in his faith as he was baptized in May of this year!

c. The other boys are doing fine. The house parents are doing their best with the boys and it has made a big difference now that we have house parents. The boys are not running away as much. Some of the older boys are a bit worried about their future. Some interviewed for internship jobs. Continue to pray for the social workers, house parents and other faculty members to know how to guide and help these boys.

 

 

Again with my Corinthians fan club. The man you see on the left was the man I visited at the hospital 2 and a half months ago. He was in an accident that claimed 3 lives. It was super fun as we scored 3 goals!!! Most people here aren't Christians so it's a good place to share about Jesus as well. I would love to be more involved if I had a better means of transportation. This place is pretty far from where I live. By car, it's about 25 or 30 minutes. By bus, it would be almost an hour.

 

These are from my cell group personally. The other cell groups I feel like I'm serving, but with this one, I can lay back and receive what God has for me. There are many times where I felt comforted by God. These people are my family.

 

These are from our girls cell group of Hope Mountain which are on Friday nights. We have 2 more teenage boys' cell groups and a kids' cell group.

                            

These are from our adult cell group of Hope Mountain which are on Wednesday nights. The aim is to reach the graduate boys and people from the community.

I went to the zoo with the boys last 2 Saturdays ago. It was super fun. I cried when I saw the Toco Toucan for the first time in my life. I couldn't believe it. The special thing about this zoo is that even though it's small, all the animals were rescued from traffickers. They were captured and being sold all around the world. No wonder they had many security guards everywhere keeping an eye on everyone. I had a good time talking to the lady who was the manager there. May God continue to bless her and all the people working there. 

This dog was not from the zoo. XD This was just another beautiful day walking my little guy. P.S. He loves sticks, surprised?